Macy, I am so sorry. For alot of things, actually, but two recent ones come to mind, so let's just start there, shall we?
One, I am sorry for not giving you ice cream yesterday morning. (Back story time.) Okay, two nights ago, you came into our room and said you couldn't sleep. Well, because I COULD at the time, I was desperate. So, I told you if you went back to bed, I would give you ice cream in the morning. I know, I know...horrible parenting example right there. I was TIRED! Don't judge me!!! Okay, back to the story. So, in the morning, you came in to see me, and you said, "Good morning! Can I have ice cream now?" To which I replied, having no recollection of ever bribing you with ice cream, "No, you can't have ice cream. But I'll get you a really yummy breakfast." I could not undrstand why you looked so hurt and puzzled.
When your father called me at lunch time,he asked if you had your ice cream for breakfast. After he explained that I had promised that to you, which I naturally forgot, I felt horrible, and made sure you got ice cream after lunch.
I'm sorry.
And finally, I am sorry about the "tomato incident". Yesterday, we went to the farmer's market to get some cucumbers and zucchini. We were looking at all of the fresh vegetables when you said, very excitedly, "Oooh! Tomatoes! Can we get some?" Suddenly, I remembered I had gotten tomatoes earlier that week, so I told you that, and then said you could have some of them for lunch. So, we get home and I sliced up some cucumbers and chicken, put it on a plate in front of you, feeling like such a good mom. I mean, I fed you FRESH vegetables and a healthy side of chicken breast! What more can a toddler ask for? I'll tell ya. A mom with any kind of memory at all. Because the very first thing out of your mouth was, " Can I have some tomatoes?" I answered back, having forgotten that I told her we had tomatoes, and actually had forgotten that I ever bought them in the first place, "No honey, we didn't get any tomatoes." Then you shouted, "Yes, we do have them! You said!!" I reprimanded you for yelling, and told you again we did not have any. So, that's when you lost your mind. You had a tantrum that really did remind me of that little spinning thing the Tasmanian devil used to do on the Looney Tunes. So I sent you to your room and made you cry it out in there.
It wasn't until I was lying in bed that I pieced together that whole thing and realized that I forgot about the tomatoes that we had in the fridge. I felt like a giant piece of, well, poop.
I am sorry. I am also sorry for the thousand more times this will happen in the course of your stay at "Mommy's Loony Bin." I am sorry that my stroke ever has to touch you at all, and if I could change anything, that is the one I'd pick. But, since this IS your life and this is mine, all I can do is keep on saying I'm sorry, and pray you're not scarred for life. Love you, kiddo!! (I didn't forget THAT!) : )
