These Two Things

     This is a difficult entry for me to write...no idea where to start!  I really do hate that every time I write it seems to go back to my stroke. But once again...
     Last Monday, I was taking Macy to ballet and then we went to my in-laws for dinner.  Somewhere in between these two events, my face, tongue, arm and hand on the left side all went numb.  The next morning, my speech therapist convinced me to make an appointment with the doctor and drove me there herself.  Well, after many tests and long waits, we were told I had a small stroke, and that the artery which originally dissected, causing the massive stroke five months ago, had never healed.  So, I was told that the following week I would need to have an angiogram and  surgery to put a stent in my artery to keep it open.
     At first, I felt optimistic...that it would all turn out just fine and there was nothing to really worry about.  But, when I lay down to sleep, I start to think, and that is usually not the best thing!!  I thought about all that could happen in a week's time... that I could have not only another small stroke, but another massive one, and that perhaps I would not be left with all the abilities I have now.  I may not be able to walk, talk, play with my children... be able to tell anyone what I want for Macy and Micah.  The fear was very intimidating, and still is sometimes.
      But here is the lesson for Macy and Micah.  I know two things, and the first one is this:  He is God. To me, that means that He is all powerful and all-knowing.  Nothing is outside of His sight and nothing lies outside of His strength.  He can do ANYTHING! Knowing I have the one true God on my side gives me much peace.  Nothing will happen to me that He hasn't already decided and planned for my life.  And all things He allows, He does to bring His name greater glory and to grow ME in the process.
     The second thing I know is this:  He is MY God!  He is mine and I am His!  That means that wherever I go, He goes with me.  In every dark place and time in my life, the only thing I know for sure is that He was right there, never leaving me for a second.  Can you even imagine that?  He has been with each of us, whenever we've received horrible news, endured painful abuse, suffered at the hands of others, and felt so very much alone.  He is God and He is with you.  These two things, kids, are what I hope you live your ife always knowing and believing, as I am doing today! I love you, Macy and Micah.