Stay

     When I quit my job about a year and a half ago, I had all kinds of grand plans.  Macy and I would do crafts together each day, listen to all different types of music, and see new and fascinating places on a regular basis.  There would be laughter and lots of it, and quiet, intimate times when she's snuggled against me, asleep.  I was surprised and disappointed at how few of those idyllic moments seemed to happen, especially  after we had Micah. 
     Sometimes, my days are just very tiring...listening to Micah cry for hours sometimes when he's sick or just plain fussy, or hearing my three year-old whine from the moment she wakes up until the time she goes to bed.... folding laundry that just gets dirty again tomorrow... making dinner that maybe half of the eating audience even likes...and the list goes on.  Some days, I just want to take a walk by myself. 
     Life is so hilarious sometimes.  For years, all I wanted was to not have to be alone anymore, to share my life.   Now, I'm sharing, and I find myself complaining much more than I'd like. 
Please understand.  It's not that I regret the choice I made to stay home, because I don't and I know so many women would love to be able to do it.  But, every choice requires sacrifices, things we will surely miss out on by making a key decision.  The things we miss don't come close to what we gain, by the way, but often feels that way.
     I guess it's like this:  There are days I want to quit, and it's been that way since the first time I've tried anything at all.  When things get difficult, or don't look exactly how we'd imagined it, our first instinct is always to flee, to run.  But when we run, we miss out on sometimes the very best experiences of our lives.  And also, we miss out on the opportunity to STAY, to fight, to remain and to say that we did not quit.  ( Just a note: it's not always terrible to quit something.  It depends on what that something is.!) Some people just quit things way too soon...marriages, churches, friendships...etc.  Just when the road gets rocky and someone pressed that "incline" button on the treadmill, we scramble, searching for the "off" switch.
     So, Macy and Micah, the lesson is this: Anything worth having or doing will cost you something.  And don't get off the ride until it comes to a complete stop!  : )  And please hear me: NONE of those frustrating days will ever compare to getting to read stories to you during the day or one of our morning walks, or all the fun songs we sang together.  And it will all be even more beautiful in the end when we look back and see that we STAYED.